I was reading my son’s school magazine, Springbrook, and as I perused through the pages, I glanced at the usual stories, who contributed the most money to the school, who graduated, who reached what milestone and then I turned page and I saw it…I saw love. Love without fear, love without judgment.
The young woman was in a beautiful bridal gown with a smile as wide as the ocean on her face. The young man was in a tuxedo, looking debonair, and holding on to his new wife, his bride, with pride and protection. What was so special about this lovely, newly married couple? Both were mentally challenged adults. Just to deviate for a moment, I need to also tell you that this young man was the breadwinner of this couple. He functioned slightly higher than his wife and chose to take care of her, support her, cherish her and be as the Bible commands, “the head”. Something some men today have yet to learn and practice. But, that’s another story.
Back to my story, here were two people who found unconditional love. Here were two people who had no time to judge, no time to measure, no time to consider did he/she make the made the right choice, or second guess themselves whether or not the other were truly the one. They had found what is written in the Song of Solomon 3:1-2, the one who their heart loves. To others they may look, act or sound different but to each other, they were the most beautiful people God had ever created. God does not make mistakes. Bishop Jakes once wrote, “God can appreciate our differences and still create unity. Together we produce a sound of harmony that expresses the multifaceted character of God.”
As I looked at that photo, I thought. Who am I to judge? Not just them, but anyone. The Lord Jesus told us in Matthew, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For what judgment you judge, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you”. As I pondered about this couple’s relationship, I thought not only about loving another person but, you got to love yourself. When we love ourselves, we will not settle for less than a righteous and fulfilling relationship(by relationship I mean, friends, family, spouses, our employers, co-workers, fellow church members or the heads of our church). When we love without judgment and without conditions, that is real love, Agape love, God’s love. That is when we are reflecting what Christ teaches us. What does He teach us? Well in summary 1)to always live to be pleasing to God.
2)that we must be peace makers to be called children of God.
3)to love our enemies and do good.
4)to pray.
5)to light the way for others.
6)share.
7)not to judge.
8)not to worry.
9)he taught us that God will take care of us.
I think that we could learn a lot from that young couple and just one of the things is that “He who does not love, does not know God, for God is love”. (John 4:7-8)
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
What We Want, Only God Can Give Us
DEAR READER,
I was reading The Christian Doctrine by Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshens. They discussed some of the things we want and require from people in our lives, whether it is a spouse, significant other, child, family member, friend, or co-worker. We want people in our lives that are selfless, trustworthy, faithful, helpful, and I thought truthful. We all seem to want the same thing, everlasting and unending L-O-V-E. We complain because we feel misunderstood. We have an insatiable desire for contact, talking, touching, relating. We want peaceful, harmonious, safe relationships and people who want the best for us. But, I ask, are we always those things or are we sometimes selfish?
According to the author, these wants, needs, desires and longings are for God. But, we do not always look to God to satisfy us. We lust after men or women to fulfill what only God can. We all know what happens when we depend on “man” (as in human), we get disappointed. God told us in the book of Joshua 1:5 “there shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
God always communicates truthfully (meaning we can talk to Him and he talks to us), loves unreservedly (which means He does not hold back), He lives connected to us (even when we do not think so), God serves us humbly (never says I told you so), interacts peaceably with us (He may correct us but He never degrades us) and serves us selflessly (meaning He is always there for us). God is a perfect friend and/or companion. Are we? Nehemiah Chapter 9 v 17 “you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them.”
As I was reading this particular part in the book, my mind started to wander about my own relationships. And it nearly broke my heart and brought me to tears, because I thought, “How unfair of me, to expect so much from another human being.” I thought of the times when I felt betrayed, disappointed and hurt because the person/people did not do what I wanted or expected of them. I thought of the times when I was angry because someone else “did not measure up.” I thought of the times when I felt that someone had let me down. How many times have we said of someone “I don’t ask a lot of you…’, or “All I ask you to do is…” or “You can’t even do this one little thing?” I thought…how dare I expect a mere person to be compassionate, helpful, faithful, slow to anger, dependable, truthful, forgiving and fair AT ALL TIMES. It is not fair for us to expect that of a mere human and it is not fair for someone to expect that of us. ONLY GOD CAN be all things at all times!
Michael Jackson once sang “I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love”. Therefore, I looked at the “man” in the mirror and decided to make a change. I looked at myself and said, “You can’t be all those things, all the time, so how can you expect others to be”? So I ask each of you to look at the person in the mirror, and reflect on your past relationships and remember the characteristics of God that I described earlier, selfless, trustworthy, faithful, helpful, truthful, everlasting, and unending love. Forgive that person who hurt you, disappointed you, betrayed you or failed you. We cannot expect people to be God. What we want, only God can give us.
I was reading The Christian Doctrine by Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshens. They discussed some of the things we want and require from people in our lives, whether it is a spouse, significant other, child, family member, friend, or co-worker. We want people in our lives that are selfless, trustworthy, faithful, helpful, and I thought truthful. We all seem to want the same thing, everlasting and unending L-O-V-E. We complain because we feel misunderstood. We have an insatiable desire for contact, talking, touching, relating. We want peaceful, harmonious, safe relationships and people who want the best for us. But, I ask, are we always those things or are we sometimes selfish?
According to the author, these wants, needs, desires and longings are for God. But, we do not always look to God to satisfy us. We lust after men or women to fulfill what only God can. We all know what happens when we depend on “man” (as in human), we get disappointed. God told us in the book of Joshua 1:5 “there shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life: as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
God always communicates truthfully (meaning we can talk to Him and he talks to us), loves unreservedly (which means He does not hold back), He lives connected to us (even when we do not think so), God serves us humbly (never says I told you so), interacts peaceably with us (He may correct us but He never degrades us) and serves us selflessly (meaning He is always there for us). God is a perfect friend and/or companion. Are we? Nehemiah Chapter 9 v 17 “you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them.”
As I was reading this particular part in the book, my mind started to wander about my own relationships. And it nearly broke my heart and brought me to tears, because I thought, “How unfair of me, to expect so much from another human being.” I thought of the times when I felt betrayed, disappointed and hurt because the person/people did not do what I wanted or expected of them. I thought of the times when I was angry because someone else “did not measure up.” I thought of the times when I felt that someone had let me down. How many times have we said of someone “I don’t ask a lot of you…’, or “All I ask you to do is…” or “You can’t even do this one little thing?” I thought…how dare I expect a mere person to be compassionate, helpful, faithful, slow to anger, dependable, truthful, forgiving and fair AT ALL TIMES. It is not fair for us to expect that of a mere human and it is not fair for someone to expect that of us. ONLY GOD CAN be all things at all times!
Michael Jackson once sang “I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love”. Therefore, I looked at the “man” in the mirror and decided to make a change. I looked at myself and said, “You can’t be all those things, all the time, so how can you expect others to be”? So I ask each of you to look at the person in the mirror, and reflect on your past relationships and remember the characteristics of God that I described earlier, selfless, trustworthy, faithful, helpful, truthful, everlasting, and unending love. Forgive that person who hurt you, disappointed you, betrayed you or failed you. We cannot expect people to be God. What we want, only God can give us.
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