"If you knew me, you would know my Father also" John 8:19

My Senior Pastor asked me to write a little bit about my father for the Father's Day service on Sunday.  If you know me, it's difficult for me to write a little bit.  If you know my father, then you would also know that it is difficult to write just a little bit about him. My father often tells the story of my birth. He was in the Untied States Air Force at the ripe old age of 18.  As a young Black man in the 60's it was difficult of find a job that would support yourself, much less a family.  Faced with little or no options he joined the Service.  As my father tells the story, he stood in a long line at the public telephone booth and called home.  His mother said "it's a girl and her name is Toya" my father yelled down the line, "It's a girl and her name is Toya!" By the time the message reached the end, it was just like the game telephone, he had a Toyota (the car), he had a Toy (he calls me that to this day) and whatever else, they misconstrued the message to be.

My father always calls me his "love child" My mother was sixteen and pregnant, at a time that having a child out of wedlock was a cardinal sin (they were Catholic)...so they married.  Some would call it a "shotgun wedding."  In calling me his love child, my father tried to assure me, that I was not a mistake, and I was always wanted.  He succeeded.  I have always felt, that I had a purpose, and I was here because I was wanted and loved.

My father, was a career military man, and traveled the world.  The strain of being away and other mitigating circumstances (not necessary to mention here) caused my Father and Mother to divorce. But in his absence, I always knew who my father was. I remembered him during the years we were apart, because during the time we were together, he hugged me and kissed me. I remembered him, during the time we were separated, because he always told me, that I was the most precious daughter a man could have. I remembered him when he was not physically present because he called me his gift from God.

Today, not a day goes by, that my father does not tell me how proud he is of the woman I have become, even if he still calls me by my little girl name "Toy and Boo-boop-de-boop (don't ask me how to spell it).  I received many things from my father that money could never buy;  His great sense of humor, empathy for others, the ability to make and keep friends, the willingness to unabashedly show affection, help people and tell them that I love them.

In John 8, Jesus, said that His actions, His words, His behaviors bear record of who He is and who His Father is. So I will end this, with His words...If you knew me, you would know my father, also. Amen.

Black & Blue

I am a Black woman who wore a Blue uniform.
I am Black & Blue.
A product of the Jim Crow era, the Civil Rights movement, segregation, integration, a 60's baby and what my father likes to call me...a love child.
I grew up knowing that my White grandmother and Great-grandmother, just loved their brown baby girl.
Race and color, evident but not spoken.
Who we were, what we were was...love...BUT
The mis-education of this Negro woman forced me to press for, push for, pull for more,
Knowledge after all is power.
Imhotep, Mansa Musa, Nefertari, Ramses, Isis and Osirus filled my mind and my home.
Images of the Queen I was born to be and the King I wanted to be with me.
I am a Black woman who wore a Blue uniform.
I am Black & Blue.
A product of a middle class family with middle class values.
Work hard, get an education, take a city test, get a city job...
stability...security.
So, I...took a city test and got a city job.
I am a Black woman who wore a Blue uniform.
A sea of blue uniforms, made up of mostly White men.
Comrades, colleagues and friends. Unafraid because after all they had my back and I had theirs.
We walked the streets of NYC, we road the frightening, graffiti covered, crime ridden trains of the 80's.
I got my marching orders and I marched.
Arrests, summonses, training studying,
Knowledge after all is power.
Police shields, blue uniforms, handcuffs and awards filled my mind and my home.
Image of me...the cop I was and the Detective I became...and then...
History repeated itself...the 60's, the 70's the 80's all over again.
Riots, discrimination, hate, killing, murder...revolution.
I'm sorry Mr. Gil Scot Heron...THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED. Enter me...the mediator.
My Black sisters and brothers will certainly understand what the cops face as they enter our community. Let me explain...and then I am beaten until I am black and blue.
My blue brothers and sisters will understand what the community is feeling. Let me explain...I am beaten until I am black and blue.
I am a Black woman who wore a Blue uniform.
I...am...Black...and...Blue.

To Tithe or Not to Tithe?

I was having a problem getting an answer to my question.  I wanted, no, needed to know, if I'm having a difficult time financially how do I tithe 10 %.  I was told, I can't tell you what to do but, I know that I have to tell you to tithe. I was under a real financial strain and this answer was just not good enough.    

I read different theological commentaries on the subject, and the answers varied. Some say tithe 10% no matter what. Even if your bills are over due, even if you need to put food on the table, even if your electricity is going to get cut off, even if your rent needed to be paid, even if...  The other response was that God does not want you to be in the dark, hungry, cold, or homeless. What kind of loving God would want that? Another response was tithing is Old Testament Law and we are no longer under the law because of Christ Jesus.    

One day while praying the scriptures, I prayed John 16:13 "But when, he the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth" and knew that I will know the answer in my heart when I read it, hear it or see it.  I began by reading scriptures on borrowing and lending.  I am a perpetual giver, this propensity to give has often caused me to find myself in a whole.  I will give out of my savings, my stash, my lack. Sounds very Christian like doesn't it? Well in studying, I found that it is not.  I got it all wrong.  Proverbs 3:28; tells us Do not say to your neighbor, Go and come back tomorrow and I will give it WHEN YOU HAVE IT with you, Proverbs 3:23 tells us; Do not withhold any good from THOSE WHO DESERVE IT and WHEN IT IS IN YOUR POWER to act. Hebrews 13:16 tells you to share what we have, it does not say share what we DON'T have.      

So, in studying and meditating on the word, I have understood in my heart that my issue or misunderstanding is not with tithing but with lending and giving when I really don't have.  My issue is lending and not getting a return.  The scripture tells us to lend, hoping for nothing in return.  It doesn't mean that you should not be paid back, it means that you should not expect rewards or accolades for doing good and if it is not returned then don't hope for it back...in other words, it just became a gift (Luke 6:34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you...) The Old Testament speaks of lending with interest, something we should NEVER do to family, but business is another issue. Business is business and family is family. Deuteronomy 23:19 tells us; You shall not charge interest on loans to your brother, interest on money, interest on food, interest on anything that is lent for interest.  You may charge a foreigner interest...    

What has all this to do with tithing? Well my perceived lack and inability to tithe had me wondering where did my money go? Why am I not able to give to the church and charity like I would like to and in keeping with the scriptures.  Besides the change in economy...why is my financial situation so dire? Is it because I am giving/lending outside of God's teaching.  Am I giving/lending because of other people's inconsideration, emergency, lack of preparation, irresponsibility, greed and unrighteousness. I read a sermon and the Pastor made a valid point.  He said, the word says GIVE, not GIVE UNTIL YOU ARE BLED DRY!  He said, ask yourself, who am I giving to, how am I serving the person, and am I giving because the person refuses to work or wants to satisfy their own indulgences? Am I supporting their behavior by giving what is mine?    

This is what I understood the Spirit of truth saying in my heart.  Jesus came to fulfill the law (Sermon on the Mount), not change it or replace it.  God does not withhold any good thing from me and I should not from Him.  It is OK to give as I have decided in my heart (2 Cor 9:7), to give with the heart of the woman who only had two coins to give.  Give with a Christian heart of love but use wisdom and grace.  The message here is to give, if you cannot give 10%, give what you can before bills or anything else. Decide in your heart a designated amount, then give the rest in time, volunteer at the church or charitable organization, give unwanted clothing, goods etc.  God wants our first fruits.  Our first thoughts in the morning is to be of Him in prayer, our first day of the week in worship, and our first fruits of increase.    

So I have decided with the Lord’s help, that for now I will give a designated amount, off the top, on a consistent basis, and then when my finances improve, in the words of financial consultant, Dave Ramsey, I will give like I never gave before!

I thank God because, this was a burden I was carrying and I needed rest (Matthew 11:28).

JEREMIAH 17:5 This is what the LORD says: "Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the LORD.

     The other day I watched a video about how "the white man" "white society" "white corporations" "white supremacy" and/or "the establishment" succeeded in brain washing, enslaving, and hoodwinking people of color with religion.  They stated that people of color were tamed and subjugated with JESUS.  People of color were taught to not fight back but to "turn the other cheek", they were brought into submission by being "taught the meek shall inherit the earth",  and be satisfied with "it's all gonna get better, by and by".  People of color do not need to be rich, live in better housing, eat better food. They don't need to have better health and not be afraid to die because soon "there will be no more death, no more tears, no more sorrow, no more pain when we ALL get to heaven".  Is there truth in this? YES. The video bothered me for a while.  I began to think, is this true, is Jesus just something "they" made up to keep us in line.
     I became disturbed as I pondered this supposed "truth".  I looked a little closer at people of color and saw the continuous struggle.  I thought about how many people of color buy things, over spend, are more concerned about bling than saving, are more concerned about driving fancy cars that investing, are more concerned with looks, clothes, and jewelry than education.  People of color are not usually taught to open businesses, create good credit scores, pool their resources, and to not drown in debt.  What a sad state of affairs if this video is true.
     While much of the aforementioned is true, I could not bring myself to totally abandon the idea of Jesus. No JESUS?  The more I thought about Jesus just being something to contain us, the longer I pondered on this whole idea of Jesus as a farce, the more I considered the idea that Jesus was just a ploy, the more I contemplated that perhaps I too had been hood winked, the lonelier, the sadder, and the emptier I felt. Is this what they call at the cross roads? It was time to decide, but how? I did the only thing I knew how to do. PRAY. STUDY. PRAY. WAIT.  I had to pick up the bible and hold it in my hands as I read and studied the Word.  I had to rely on God to lead me to the passages that held the answer.  I had to shut my mind and open my heart.  I had to wait for the revelation of the Holy Spirit.  I waited for that feeling of love, warmth, and peace that only He could bring.  Then it came to me...
     It came to me in the form of Psalm 81 'Ye are Gods, we are children of God." (Psalm 82;;6)  Could I deny myself? Do I not exist? I am a god, meaning an offspring of God, He breathed life into me, He created me, I am just as much a part of Him as He is a part of me. Just like our birth father's DNA is in us, God's DNA is in us.  If there is no Father, Son and Holy Spirit then there is no ME. I had to cease to try to understand on my own accord and start to understand that GOD  is beyond the understanding of my finite mind.  I HAD to trust the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).  I now knew that I could not be wise in my own eyes (Proverbs 3:7) and I would once again feel that peace that supasses all understanding (Phil 4:7).
     God spoke to me in a way that I COULD comprehend.  He showed me the great Christian leaders.  He showed me that they were not weak or pacifists.  They bucked the system, fought for change, and human rights.  Bishop Desmond Tutu, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Richard Allen (founder of AME Church), Toussain L'Overture (lead Haitian slave revolt), Frederick Douglass, Thurgood Marshall and the one who's hair was like wool...Jesus Christ.  Jesus who walked among the people, made the blind see, the lame walk, fed the hungry, calmed the sea, cast out demons, walked on water, loved the unloveable.  The one who LIVED AND DIED AND WAS RESURRECTED SO THAT WE COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR OUR SINS (1Cor 15:3-8).
     It came down to this.  It's a choice.  A choice to believe with my heart and not my head.  A choice to  trust and believe that Jesus is Lord and He died so that we may be saved (Romans 10:9-10).  If I don't trust Him, then who am I going to trust? The establishment?
JEREMIAH 17:5 This is what the LORD says: "Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans and turn their hearts away from the LORD.       

Have you ever thought that just perhaps, God has forgotten you?

Have you ever thought that just perhaps, God has forgotten you?  You try (I say try because none of us are perfect) to live a righteous life.  You try to have morals and fight on the side of justice.  You try to live in a way that you think is pleasing to the Lord. But then it sometimes seems as if God does not hear you.  You go to church.  You pray and expect results.  You meditate on God's word and expect an answer.  You study His teachings and expect to "hear a word from the Lord." Yet, nothing happens, sometimes things even get worse.

You try to stay the course but you feel your resolution wavering.  You tell yourself "keep the faith", "the race is not for the swift", "fight the good fight" or like in that old Negro spiritual you sing, "I know I'll understand it by and by." And as much as you fight the feelings of doubt you sometimes feel it creeping into your mind.  You say to yourself and sometimes out loud, but Jesus said... all I need is a mustard seed of faith and I can move mountains.  So, why isn't my mountain moving? But the Bible says...knock and the door will be opened.  So, why is the door closed, locked and bolted shut?  But the Lord said ask I shall receive.  So, I'm asking and asking and all I hear is silence.  I'm doing all these things, and nothing is happening.  Has God forgotten me?

Well, the answer lies not in what we are doing, or what we think we're doing to please Him.   I was in that situation and that was when God showed me Psalm 77. Like the psalmist my spirit began to faint, I was too troubled to speak, my spirit groaned and cried out in distress.  Like the psalmist who laments in verse one;

I cried out to God for help;

I cried out to God to hear me.

When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;

at night I stretched out untiring hands,

and I would not be comforted.

The psalmist complains for several verses.  However, if we continue reading we find the sorrow in his spirit starting to turn around.  He begins to remember all that God has done for him in the past.  He begins to remember all the times he was saved, bailed out, relieved and comforted.  As he searches for the unfailing love, favor and compassion he was once given, it forced him to remember exactly that...IT WAS ONCE GIVEN. He did it before, He can do it again.  As the psalmist cries out for Merciful God, his song changes and he sings;

"Then I thought, To this I will appeal:

the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

I will consider all your works

and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”

The psalmist cries and complaints turned to remembrance and finally in the last verses they turn to praise.

Your ways, God, are holy.

What god is as great as our God?

You are the God who performs miracles;

You display your power among the peoples.

With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,

the descendants of Jacob and Joseph...

He ended the song with recounting God's parting of the sea and leading the people by His mighty Hand to safety, and the fulfillment of His promise. Has God forgotten us? No but, like the psalmist we groan and complain and question, where is God?  But instead we must encourage ourselves, not to give up hope.  We should ask God to forgive us for not trusting Him enough.  We must turn our cries and doubts to praise and thanksgiving for all the times that God has seen us through. He, after all is our Grace for today and our Hope for tomorrow.  God has not forgotten us. He knows us by name, the Father knows what we need before we ask Him and, most importantly of all we know that the Bible teaches us that “God is not a man, that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should repent. Has He said, and will He not do? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?"  In knowing this we also know that, No! God has not forgotten us.

Poor Not Lazy Proverbs 21:13

Today on face book someone posted Proverbs 21:13 " Whoever shuts their ears to the cry of the poor, will also cry out and not be answered." As I read his post about helping people out and he is inclined to help those in need.  He also stated that he verifies the need. I read this and my mind went to people that I have helped and continue to help to this day.

  

I am often taken advantage of because I do not "nag", I do not demand, and I continue to treat the person(s) as I always have.  I often tell myself "THAT'S IT, NO MORE LENDING! whenever I am having a particular financial hardship, or I feel as if the person(s) is taking my kindness for weakness (I remember my step father once describing me as a cornered rat, I'll scurry away until you trap me in the corner, then I will bare my teeth and fight to the death).  Recently, one such person(s) who owes me a good deal of money, called me and asked me to pay a bill that is in his name but I used the service.  Now me, I would have said, since I owe you, I'll just pay the bill (which is much less than he owes).  But not him, he called me several times a day until he reached me.  What makes a person do that? What makes a person think that what they owe is moot?  Well, I was angry and out of character (but no where near how some would have behaved), I simply said when I get, I'll pay it and hung up.  

But back to the Proverb.  I have no problem giving to the POOR.  I give to Children's Hunger, Autism, Muscular Dystrophy, every catastrophe we Americans have suffered lately (Sandy, Boston etc.), the man/woman in the street, among others. I can truthfully say that I give  to the poor with clean hands and a clean heart. I have a few friends, that I can see myself in (I guess that's why we're friends) who give over and over to the same people all the time.  They are never repaid, and appreciated only WHILE they are doing the giving.  These people my friends give to are not POOR.  They are LAZY. They do not work, have no motivation to work,  further their education, have no life plan, and just mooch off of people.  I would venture to say, that these are NOT the people this proverb is referring to. Helping this sort of person is like using a teaspoon to dig yourself out of a ditch.  

I can see myself clearly in them, I give advice (that I dont follow) because we are cut from the same cloth.  We try to be hard hearted, but it is not in our nature.  The apostle Paul writes in Roman 12 "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your^[a] faith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead,^[b] do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." So during these times when I fall into a state of regret and make false promises to myself of "never again", (I do this when I am need and cannot see how I will get out of my predicament). I will remember this proverb, because I know that I DID NOT and CANNOT shut my ears to the poor, therefore I CAN cry out and I WILL be answered.

HAVING TO CHOOSE

Sometimes we have to make a choice.  We have to choose what is good, what is right, what is perfect.  The only perfect person is the Lord.  This is why, when the Holy Spirit gnaws at us, we have to choose.  He will not let us rest, He will not let us have peace.  We can no longer live the way we once did, or the way the world says is OK.  We can no longer live in the flesh and WE MUST live righteously.  We MUST walk with integrity.   Actually, at this point it no longer becomes a choice, it becomes a necessity.

Those who do not walk in the light are not able to understand this necessity, this lack of choice.  When you reach this crossroad, this is where the Ruths and Naomis are separated.  Ruth was willing to go where her mother-in-law, Naomi went.  She was willing to accept Naomi's God as her own.  She even went so far as to say please stop asking me to leave you, because she was not going.   

If we are unwilling to walk with our friend, no matter where the Lord takes him or her, then that is where our roads part.  The parting does not have to be in animosity, it does not have to even be any conflict.  It is a reality.  Two people cannot walk on different roads and still hold hands. We have to be willing to follow where the Lord is leading us, even if it means losing that friend.  We must also be willing to give our friends also the freedom to choose, to walk with us or to go their own way. 

The apostle Paul understood this the most when he wrote in Romans 7:15 "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do".  In other words, as a Christian we do the things we know as Christians to be sinful because of the flesh, even as we try fight not to do them.

We may lose some friends along the way, we may gain some friends along the way. But wherever this choice or lack thereof choice leads us, in order to find peace, we MUST follow it.

More Than You Can Bear

You ever feel all used up, at the end of your rope. Well I feel that way right now. I am surrounded by people that no matter what I do, or how I try to help, they always want or need more. My aunt tells me I need to learn the shortest complete sentence in the world. "No". I actually thought I had it mastered but alas, no, I haven't. When it comes to myself, I am the master of deny. I love to tell myself what I don't need to buy, eat, drink, wear, or do.

However, when it comes to others, I am the master of "lets do this, lets make it happen". I really don't mind the cost of things, but it all becomes too costly after awhile. It costs me energy, it cost me peace, it costs me grace. You may ask how could it cost me these things. Well, it costs me energy because even when I don't really feel like doing something for someone else, I do it. But in the end it feels like I've drained every part of me. It costs me peace, because now I'm in the position that I'm doing something that I really did not want to do, however, because I am a woman of my word, I do it, but there is no enjoyment in it. Lastly, it costs me grace, because, I'm doing the thing with animosity, worry, discontentment and most of all without love.

Someone once said, I do things for people because I like the control. That is the farthest from the truth. I do things for people because A)that's the type of person I am, B) because if you are a part of my life I want you to be as happy as I am and C) the Lord has blessed me and I want to bless others. The problem is this. Reciprocity. Just once in a while, I'd like to ask something of someone and actually receive it. I want it given in love and not payback. I want it given because they want me to have it. I want it given because it is the right thing to do.

So, what is the lesson here? If it feels like a burden it is. Don't do more than you can, don't do more than you're able, and don't do it, if it is not being done with love. Otherwise, it becomes to much for you, and I know that the Lord does not give me more than I can bear.

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2

You Are So Beautiful To Me

Hello Readers,

I know it's been a while since I have written anything. A lot has gone on since my last post. My eldest son turned 25 years old and my youngest son turned 21 years old and graduated from school. He is now in an adult program for the developmentally challenged. However "sad" this may seem to others, we view it as a milestone and an achievement. So suffice it to say, I feel blessed.

These children (I have two) are so beautiful. They are handsome, physically (you are unable to tell they have mental challenges)and they have beautiful personalities. They are loving and easily pleased. They do not care about name brands, cell phones, the internet, etc. They simply enjoy being with their family and friends. They hug and kiss you, when young men their age would shun mom's demonstrations of affection. They willingly go to Walmart and even push the cart. They tolerate mom's buying them new clothes and wanting to take a picture of them wearing them. They welcome new people into their lives and are a great barometer of who is a good person at heart. I could go on and on.

I once read a poem and it described having a disabled child like landing in a country you did not buy a ticket to. Perhaps you wanted to go to the Caribbean and found yourself landing in Holland. The writer so aptly wrote. If you spend all your time agonizing over not being on the beach, then you will miss all the beauty Holland has to offer.

Although, it is sometimes still difficult to see my two handsome sons with this mental challenge and sometimes wonder what they would be like if they were so called "normal". I believe that my boys (they are still my boys)are a reflection of the love I have for them. I have learned to trust God and "lean not on my own understanding"(Proverbs 3:5). God is my strength and my refuge (Psalm 46:1), and because of Him, I am able to live life to the fullest, love with all my heart, and laugh with the deepest part of my soul.

"The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, the ears of the discerning seek it out'. Proverbs 18:15

They call the day Saint Valentines Day, and it is celebrated annually on February 14Th. It is a day where love and affection is expressed between companions, husbands and wives, girlfriends and boyfriends, parents and their children, and between friends. We send and receive cards, flowers, and candy.

I love to receive all these expressions of love but I prefer for my significant other to do it when he feels like it, and not wait until a day that society has designated. So, I asked myself how did this all start? What was the origin of Valentine’s Day? I must tell you, I really did not like what I found out.

Some say Valentine’s Day started as a pagan holiday. Pagans are sometimes defined as people who are polytheistic, or believing in more than one god. So as I did my research, already the holiday already did not sit right with me. This holiday was connected to fertility and amorous love. Several types of gods were worshipped in connection to this day; the Greeks had Pan, the Semites had Baul or Nimrod who is actually mentioned in the Genesis 10:9, the Romans had Baal, Saturn or Lupercus.

During the early Christian church days, the religious hierarchy tried to get rid of the holiday, but the people refused to give it up. So the church succumbed and tried to turn it into a religious holiday where-in the Virgin Mary was honored. The Catholic Church also tried to change it, and make it a day where Christian martyrs were honored, so they practiced their rites on Feb 14Th in an effort to make the people give up the holiday.

Another popular story is one of a Roman Priest named Valentine. Valentine was imprisoned and executed for performing marriages and refusing to give up Christianity. Roman Emperor Claudius II who was cruel and engaged in several bloody losing battles. He forbade young couples from marrying because he thought that then the new husband did not want to leave his wife. Personally, I think people were tired of dying in his losing battles. Anyway, folklore tells us that the Priest would secretly wed the young couples. Claudius’ soldiers caught him, and threw him in prison. While in prison Valentine befriended the jailers daughter and before he died on FEB. 14Th 296 AD, he wrote her a note and signed it “love from your Valentine”. Hence, Valentine's Day.

While I was doing this research on St. Valentines Day, the Lord pressed this on my heart. “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL AND ALL YOUR MIND.” As a Christian, I know “we shall have no other gods before Him (Exodus 20:3)and this practice began with worshiping gods. can you imagine? They want to give me Cupid, when I have Christ’s love!

At one time Valentine’s Day was important to me. But as I grow in Christ, I know what is important. This ambiguous holiday designed to make the rich richer is based on our need for love. I came to better understand that God is the source of all our love, and loving God and loving others are interrelated. We cannot have one without the other, and more importantly the bible tells us, “we love because he first loved us.”

I know that it is stressful enough for some who are alone. It is a reminder that they do not have that one person who loves them. So if this is you, remember that God is your provider. "God has not forgotten even the sparrows and we have more value than many sparrows" (Luke 12:6) Do not be disappointed when you do not receive a card, flowers or candy and are feeling unloved, because you have God's love(1 John 4:16. After all, the bible tells us that "God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him, shall not perish but have eternal life”.

WHO CAN LOVE US MORE THAN THAT?

This is the day the Lord has made

I was reading the biography of Dr Martin Luther King Jr. in the encyclopedia. And it struck me as amazing that a man as unselfish as he could be reduced to one page. I began to wonder, if this man’s whole life story could be described in four paragraphs, then they probably would be able to describe mine in four sentences. It reminded me of the poem, The Dash by Linda Ellis where she says “on your tombstone is your birth date and your end date, but in between is a dash, that represents all your years and that only those who truly knew you, knows what that dash represents”.

Here was a man who could only be accused of doing God’s work. And for some reason, those who show no fear in pursuit of the path that God has set before them seem to reach the end at a fairly young age. MLK was 39 and Jesus was 33.

So I began to ponder about those who chose not to celebrate their birthdays. Whether it is because of their particular religion forbids it, or whether they just do not want to recognize they are getting older, or whether they grew up in a household where one day was just like any other. Personally, I love to thank God that He gave me another day. I love to thank God that He has blessed me with a mother whose birthday is today; I love to thank God for the births of my children, of my nieces and nephews. I love to thank God that you are all here and that we can celebrate the life He has given us. After all, didn’t an Angel of the Lord appear to Zachariah and tell him of the birth of his son John, 14 “He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord“. After all doesn’t John chapter 2 tell us that when our Lord was born, “13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” and Psalm 127 sings, “3 Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.”

So what happens after we are born with so much celebration and rejoicing. Are we then forgotten about? I believe it is ok to honor our elders, our friends, our family and even ourselves on our day. You see honor is not the same as worship. And as long as we continue to place God first and foremost in our lives, recognition should be given to those who paved the way for us. Each moment, each day, each year we live is a gift from God “THIS IS THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT. (Psalm 118:24)” What a blessing it is to live, celebrate, and show each other the love and appreciation we have for each other.

As for me, I say, “Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let us have a feast and celebrate.
Luke 15:23

Look Toward The Future, Live For Today

This is what the LORD says--he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters.... "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:16; 18-19

Happy New Year!
As we begin the New Year, we are forced into a time of reflection. We think about the past and what changes we would like to make for the future. Something about the New Year makes us thing now is the time for a fresh start. Some act as if when the clock strikes 12 and the New Year begins we magically get a do-over. All the wrongs can be righted and we can just erase what parts of the last year we did not like. However, as Christians we know that the only way that can be done is by being washed in the blood of Jesus. The only way our past sins can be forgiven and we can be given a fresh start is by accepting the salvation that only Christ can give us. Resolutions are ok to make but the only way we will keep them, if we make them knowing that, we can do everything through Him who strengthens us.

In Lamentations chapter 3 v40, God says, “Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord”. That is the closest thing in the bible that I can find pertaining to resolutions. Some of the things we vow to do is to eat right, exercise, lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, spend less, save more, give more, make new friends, be a better friends, get rid of some friends, learn something new, get organized, help others, pray more, read the bible more, fast more, and attend church more. Some believe that your house has to be clean, your laundry washed and black eye peas, collard green, and pork had to be cooking on the stove in order to have prosperity in the New Year. My aunt and I were laughing the other day because we said every year we do the same thing, have dirty clothes, and have to clean the house anyway. So what is the point?

With all that starting this and stopping that, we must remember to enjoy and really LIVE the life that God has given us. The bible reminds us of this in Ecc Ch 8 V15 “So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun”.
Therefore, while I am an advocate for saving for a rainy day, lately, I have been wondering what if the rainy day never comes. Even though I have a small emergency fund, I believe in enjoying the life that God has given me. I like the finer things in life and I love sharing them. I eat off of my good dishes, I use my good wash cloths, I let the kids eat in my car and I do too, and I lie down on the good couch in the living room. Sometimes we are so busy planning for the future and worrying about what happened in the past that we forget to live now. As Paul wrote to the Philippians in chapter 3 verse 13-14 No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven.

The other day in the hospital, I was talking to my friend who is like another mother to me and as she faces mortality, she said, “You know life goes by too fast.” I was showing her a picture of my sons Anthony and Mychal who are now 20 & 24. She marveled at how it seemed just like yesterday they were 12 and 16 years old. As we sat quietly, thinking about how time gets away from us. I could not help but imagine that she was thinking about the vacation house she never got a chance to build. She had already invited my mom and me, and told me how we could sit on the top veranda and look over the hill at the trees the monkeys were swinging in and sip iced tea. I imagined she thought about that trip to Africa we were supposed to take, and the only thing we were still trying to work out was whether it was going to be West Africa or South Africa, and I imagined she thought about that new car she was going to buy, she just did not know which one. As we, both sat there quietly thinking, I thought, “You know it is ok to plan, but it is more important to do.” Therefore, even though I intend to continue eating healthy, I also intend to give myself permission to enjoy an occasional scoop of butter pecan ice cream. Moreover, although I intend to continue to save for an emergency, I give myself permission to go on my dream vacation to Africa. And although I intend to discipline my 10 nieces and nephews when needed, I intend to shower them with love, hugs, kisses, and presents while they are still little. While I still intend to reflect and learn from past mistakes, I also intend to cherish the memories and experiences of that same past.

Lastly, I want to impress upon you that as we look to the future with expectation, we must live in the present, because by living we still have hope.

1 Peter 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy, he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. Amen

Christmas Remembrances

Christmas

When I was kid, I loved to prepare for Christmas. I loved to wrap the presents, decorate the tree, listen to Christmas carols, and help my mom prepare Christmas dinner. We were not rich but we were not as poor as many. Nevertheless, the thing that made our holiday fun was the gathering of our family. I am the eldest of five and nine years older than the next oldest sibling. Although, I no longer believed in Santa, it was so much fun to pretend he was on his way, on Christmas Eve. I used to let my sister and brother look off of the terrace and tell them that the red lights on the airplanes was Rudolph nose and that Santa was flying to and from delivering presents to all the good boys and girls. They were so cute with there noses pressed on the terrace glass door, oohing and ahing as they watched the lights.

On Christmas morning, I could barely wait for them to wake up and unwrap their gifts. Marveling at the gifts, even though they were few, my mom tried to get the favored ones. As I got older, I was able to pitch in and buy one or two gifts. I like to think I was helping by doing this.

To this day, I love Christmas, it has nothing to do with the gifts, but with the joy of the season. I have ten nieces and nephews and even though I am on a spending diet, I just have to get them gifts. They are so excited on Christmas morning and believe me it is contagious.

Therefore, this season as we prepare for Christmas, I tell everyone who will listen, do not go into debt. You will be stuck with a bill way after the holidays are over. While the stores and big businesses are celebrating a prosperous new year, you will be wondering what you bought to put you in the negative. It will make you dislike the holiday. You will feel anxious, and miss the whole reason for the season.

As the holiday approaches, remember this is the season of love. Christmas is the time we celebrate God’s gift to us. He sent his son incarnate or in other words, in the flesh. Read the book of Matthew and Luke. Remember the child born humbly in the manager, who grew to a man who died in love for us on the cross, and the spirit who rose from the dead in power.

Let us celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

“…Now, our God, we give you thanks and praise Your glorious name." 1Chronicles 29 11-13

The other night I watched a film about the Pilgrims and the treacherous voyage they took to arrive in what they thought of as the new world. Of course, we all know that nothing can be new or discovered if it is already inhabited, but it was new…to them. Due to the inclement weather during the voyage, they were forced to throw most of their most precious belongings overboard. What once seemed very important and simply impossible to leave behind became expendable. Their very lives were at stake and if they had not lighten the load of that ship, they all would have perished. So the hard choices became not so hard and they threw those things overboard without a second thought. They encountered illnesses they never had before and were unable to treat and they watched the weakest of them starve to death. They mentioned the sacrifices mothers made to go without eating just so that their children would have just enough to survive, they showed the Captain’s burden as he decided who ate and who did not, in essence who lived and who died. The funny thing about the movie was they managed to incorporate a love story in between it all. As a side note, where would we be without love?

This movie sparked my interest and prompted me find out what part the Pilgrims faith played in all of this. Well to be certain, without even looking anything up I was sure when they reached land they dropped down on their knees and thanked, God just for the fact that they were able to feel land under their feet. I am sure they did not care if it was the new world or an old one; they wanted to get off that ship. I myself, have been on a couple of cruises where I felt the same way.

History tells us, that in August 1620, the Pilgrims sailed from England and were headed to Virginia. They began with 102 passengers and disembarked with significantly less. Because of the weather the ended up in Cape Cod, Mass. However, before disembarking that November, they made a pact called the Mayflower Compact. In this pact the first thing they mentioned was that the people were free to worship God, advance the Christian faith, and basically live as a civilized, law abiding, just society. The first winter was rough and by the spring, many of the settlers had died. They had less than half of the people they started with. However, the spring came. They were able to build, plant, and meet, trade and learn from their new neighbors (the Indians). After the harvest time, their Governor proclaimed a day of Thanksgiving.
“Being thus arrived in a good harbor, and brought safe to land, they fell upon their knees and blessed the God of Heaven who had brought them over the vast and furious ocean, and delivered them from all the perils and miseries thereof, again to set their feet on the firm and stable earth, their proper element.”
In reminiscing upon the colony’s success, Bradford continued, “Thus out of small beginnings greater things have been produced by His hand that made all things of nothing, and gives being to all things that are; and, as one small candle may light a thousand, so the light here kindled hath shone unto many, yea in some sort to our whole nation; let the glorious name of [God] have all the praise” (ibid.).

The Gov. was right in doing this. God commands us to give Him thanks. Passages can be found in the Psalms, Philippians, Ephesians, Thessalonians, and chronicles to name a few. “Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Eph. 5:20).

Well, I hope that this past Thanksgiving you gathered with your family, friends, and in addition to your thanksgiving feast, you remembered the origin of Thanksgiving. The Pilgrims wanted to give God credit, for bringing them through it all. The soul purpose of the day was to thank and acknowledge God for His blessings, His steadfastness, His miracles, His grace and His mercy.

Deja Vu

What do you do when you feel like you have been in a particular situation before? Not a good one but a negative one. Somehow, the vibe is not right but it is familiar. It reminds you of that time when you lost your keys, and you had an important appointment, or it reminds you of the time you lost your money and you had to pay rent, or it reminds you of the time your child was sick and you felt helpless, or it reminds you of the time you caught your significant other cheating on you. Do you get anxious, do you get angry, do you lose your temper, do you curse, do you accuse, and do you fret? Or do you remember that in the end it worked out? You may have recovered what you lost after some cool headed thinking. You sat by the side of your child’s bed and nursed him/her back to health and today he/she is running, vibrant, and getting on your nerves. You might have accused your significant other wrongly and had to eat crow or maybe you were right and then you went through the fire and today you are in a loving, faithful relationship.

It is all about how you handle a situation. If you exert negative energy most likely, that is what will return to you. If you handle the situation with a cool head and a well thought out plan, most likely the answer will be right in front of you. If you lift your heart to God, he will see you through. Remember the last time? Remember what happened, what was your course of action and what were the results or consequences. Human nature will often kick in and we react when we should act. Often times our emotions get the best of us and we cannot see clearly. If we are going through a problem, issue, or concern AGAIN. Most likely it is because the lesson was not learned the first time.

I am sure that when the situation was rough, you turned to the Lord. You cried and prayed, and prayed and cried. You made promises that if only He would see you through, you would change, you would go to church, you would pray more often etc. Let us do it differently this time. Pray now. Go to church now. Tithe now etc….Make Him apart of your every day life. Do not wait until times are rough. God wants us to come to Him with supplication and prayer. The gospel song written by Calvin Bridges reminds us of this:

Makes no difference what the problem,(I can go to God in prayer).
Yes, I have this blessed assurance,(I can go to God in prayer).
He will take my gloom and sorrow,(turn them into light).
He will comfort, strengthen and keep me,(I can go to God in prayer)
Sometimes my burdens get so heavy;(I can go to God in prayer).
I have found one who is so faithful,(I can go to God in prayer).
He will take my gloom and sorrow,(turn them into light).
He will comfort, strengthen, and keep me.

Do not allow your situations to get the best of you. Lastly, in the words of the immortal Yogi Beri do not let it be “déjà vu all over again”.

Keeping It Real

Revive me, O Lord, for Your names sake! For Your righteousness’ sake, bring my soul out of trouble. In your mercy cut off my enemies, And destroy all those who afflict my soul; For I am your servant. Psalm 143:11-12

I now know why “gansta rappers” are always talking about keeping it real. They return to their old “hood” and hang with the homeboys and home girls. They do that because they need to keep the fire going. They need to receive some type of feedback and inspiration from those who are still striving for the dream, from those who are still struggling. At one time, they were able to pull inspiration for their words and characters from the hardships they were facing. At one time, they had an unlimited supply of information and ideas because they were out there hustling, hooking, and starving. They knew what it was like to wonder where the next meal was coming from, whether their family would be put out on the street for non-payment of rent or whether tonight was the night they would get caught by “5-O”. They received stimulation of the mind from that environment. They had no other focus but getting out of the “concrete jungle”, they had no other purpose but to write, rap, act, dribble, or pass their way out of the “crab barrel”. Now that they have achieved the goal that they were working towards, they have become complacent. Life is good, things are easier, and people are compliant. They are no longer struggling, striving, or stressing. They are no longer fed the negativity and are moving further and further away from the “hood” and closer and closer into the very environment they used to dream about. They find themselves becoming the very person they used to rap about. They have become part of “the establishment” by virtue of the fact that they can now afford it. They now see the other side of the fence and although the grass is not always greener, they can now pay the water bill in order to water the lawn.

So, what is my point? I often undergo the same struggle. I know, I know, I’m no “gansta rapper”. Nevertheless, I struggle with reading the Bible, and writing about God’s word. Why? Because when I no longer have any pressing issues in my life, when my prayers are answered, when things are status quo, I become complacent. I tell myself, I will read The Word later, which then becomes tomorrow, which then becomes days and weeks. Oh, I will not completely turn away from it, but it becomes a glance and a peruse. My prayers are not as intense and inclusive. Yes, I will still pray for others, but somehow the same intensity is not there. My heart is there and I mean what I say, but the fire…

So when people ask, “Why God let bad things happen?” I am no expert but I can look at my own life and know that it is to bring us closer to Him. We would forget what it was like “in tha hood”, and become complacent. He would become an after thought. Things would be so good that we would no longer come to Him with supplication and prayer. We would forget that He, not we, make it all possible. We would forget to thank Him. It would become thank Him for what…“It’s all good.” We would forget that HE IS GOOD. We would forget that we serve Him and not the other way around. We would forget to worship Him.

So I say, thank God for trials, troubles and tribulations. He is good and worthy to be praised. Work in me, my Lord until I am who you want me to be. Lord continue to give me reason to give thanks and praise. Lord continue to give me the fire, because You are the Living Water. Continue to give me issues so that I…can write…about You.

Everything Will Be Alright

Matthew 28:18-20
“Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
I do not know about you, but I find great comfort in this verse. I find comfort that Jesus is telling us that he has authority over all. All people, all situations, and all circumstances. There is no greater authority than HIS. When we think about God, we think about heaven. But here, He telling us that he also rules the earth. Right where we are today. In this verse, we are reminded to obey Him and all that he has told us and taught us. By doing this, we are assured that He will always be with us, to the very end. I am comforted and reassured by this.

You see just like you, my life is not a bed of roses. And sometimes it seems like it can be too much to bear. However, God does not give us more than we can bear. People in our lives may not always act, as WE would want them to. They may not always treat us the way WE think they should. And in a case of someone that I know, people even abandon us. At this point in this particular person’s life, you can speak words of comfort to her, you can give her advice, you can even try to console her and you can even try to solve her problems. But there is only two ways out of her situation, the second, is that she needs time to heal, and the first is that she needs to know that Jesus is with her until the end of time. When you learn that Jesus is the comforter, times are still hard BUT, knowing He is there certainly helps.

We sometimes suffer from illnesses, unexpected injuries,and financial burdens. We may be suffering from psychological and or emotional problems and even if these problems may not be yours, if it is the issues of someone you love then it might as well be your very own problem.

Therefore, as Jesus tells us, in Matthew Chapter 28 verses 18-20. Those who believe in the Lord, trust in the Lord, honor the Lord, and have faith in the Lord have to tell others about Him. He commanded us to go and tell folks about Him and all that He has taught us. He commanded us to tell people about the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. He commanded us to teach others to obey Him, so that they too can know that all of their troubles, trials and tribulations are but for a season. If only they would believe in Jesus’ promise, and trust Him like we do and lean on Him like we do. Because we understand what it's like to get knocked down, but we are never out. We have to tell others of our Lord and Savior, so that they will know, as one of the sisters in my church often says, "with God, everything will be alright”.

Neither a Borrower nor a Lender Be.

William Shakespeare said it best, "Neither a borrower nor lender be; for a loan oft loses both itself and a friend, and borrowing dulleth the edge of husbandry." What did he say? Well what Mr. Shakespeare said was, do not borrow from anyone and do not lend anyone anything. When we lend something to someone we jeopardize our friendships. Not only do we lose the thing we lent to the person but we risk losing the relationship we had with the person. Oh, Mr. Shakespeare was a smart man, but what a lot of people may not know is; that principle actually originates from the Bible. Proverbs 22:7 reads "The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender."

I have found myself in a similar situation. I borrowed from someone and my relationship with that person changed dramatically. My inability to pay her back weighed heavily on my mind and heart. I tried to make it up in other ways by doing errands for her, buying things she needed without being reimbursed, driving her places etc. Even though I would have done those things anyway, because that is just who I am, the whole relationship turned into a question. Are you doing these things because you still owe me, or are you doing these things because you care? All in all, the "favors" I did may have added up to, or were even more than what was lent out, but because she did not receive what she lent out in the same manner that she gave it to me, it always felt like a debt, never repaid.

I have also been on the other end as the lender. When money is lent out in a lump sum and not repaid the same way, that too feels like a never ending debt. My relationship with a member of my family changed dramatically over this. And let me tell you, it was not the money. What happens in these type of situations is that you (the lender) begin to watch how the other person lives. They travel, buy expensive clothing and jewelry, new cars, how (his wife's)hair and nails always seem to be done, how they splurge, and you even watch what happens during tax season because you expect to be paid and so on. You see, there was always this underlying issue. I did not constantly mention it to him, but the 500 lb gorilla was always in the room. We could not have a simple disagreement without the person saying "it's because I owe you money, right?" Wrong. A disagreement is a disagreement but in his mind the guilt of not repaying me, lingered.

So over the years, I continued this unsound practice of borrowing and lending (mostly being the lender) and watched how this practice deteriorates relationships. But my biggest issue with the practice is not the actual act of lending. It is the change in the other persons attitude. I used to wonder why I kept repeating the same mistakes over and over until I read that you will continue to make the same mistakes because you have not truly learned the lesson. You will stop making the same mistake when you have fully learned the lesson. Well, I am happy to say, I have learned my lesson. Let me tell you how. I had two friends who in the same week (on separate occasions)cried "EMERGENCY" to me. I had set aside some money in foresight of an upcoming emergency of my own. You see my cousin had allowed his gas bill to exceed $1000. Why is his gas bill my problem you ask? His gas bill is connected to the boiler that heats the water in the entire house. So, although he was the only occupant in the entire house at the time, since I now live there, if he has no heat, WE have no heat. Key span was coming to take out the meter. I explained this dilemma to these two friends (separately). Both assured me, (separately) that I would have the money back that Friday. Well, this was OK because I had some time to pay the bill. Well Friday came and went. The weeks passed and still nothing from these two. One never answered my call and one assured me the money was coming. Still nothing. These two had no concern what-so-ever for me. They probably were so sure that I would work it out, that it never entered their heads that maybe I was without hot water. I'm not, but I could be. My heart is broken over their lack of concern and consideration FOR ME, but this is what it took for me to learn my lesson, and I welcome it.

I have always been self-sufficient (with the Lord's help), I have always held a job and I paid my way through college. I have always had a generous spirit and never minded sharing anything. If you were my friend, family, or spouse, or even co-worker, if I had, you had. But what cuts me to the core is that people feel that you have so it's OK not to pay you back. They fail to realize that I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. That I worked from a very early age, and I continue to work, when I could have been retired. I work in large part because of that foolish generosity, so I cannot afford to retire. Yes, I am too young to fully retire, but I could be working for the love of it, not the necessity of it. Oh yes, I love to travel and buy fine things and that in itself would likely keep me working. But when I look back at the times when my heart strings were pulled and I succumbed to the wants (not necessarily needs)of others, when I look back at the times when I needed and I had no one to turn to (a person gets tired of asking Mom, Grandma and the same friend), when I look back at the times when I helped others at my own detriment, it is disheartening. In this life, we all might be happy if "Do unto others" is practiced more often.

Psalm 37:21 tells us "the wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously". So, don't get me wrong, it is true, that I will no longer LEND but I will still GIVE, I will continue to share, and I will continue to help others. After all, it is my nature, and as the Apostle Paul says it is my gift (Romans 12:6).

Charm Is Deceptive and Beauty is Fleeting

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a women who fears the Lord is to be praised” Proverbs 31:30

I’ve had some great loves in my time. The man of my 20s and 30s who is now my ex-husband, we had so much in common until he, I or maybe it was we changed. The man of my 30s and 40s, who is now my ex-fiancé, we too had a lot in common until that too changed. When I reached the 50 side of 40, I had an interim love or two but that did not work out because now I have changed.

In my 20s and 30s, I thought I was sexy and beautiful because I was told I was, by my college schoolmates, my co-workers (me being in a mostly male profession) and my husband. During that time in my life, my opinion of myself was based mainly on what others thought of me.

By the next decade when I hit my late 30s and early 40s, my fiancé was my lover, and my friend. I only had I eyes for him and he only had eyes for me (so I thought). We did everything together, danced, traveled, read new books, tried new recipes, and sometimes we did absolutely nothing, as long as we did it together. He would often tell me I was sexy and beautiful and I really couldn’t tell you what anyone else thought about me because I was consumed with him and by him. Again, my opinion of myself was based mainly on what he thought of me.

As I moved into my mid 40s, I became more of my own critic, I was now one who formed and expressed judgment of my own merits, faults, value, and truths. I finally began to not care what others thought about me. I tried to look and be my natural best. However, a new beautiful resonated from my very core. I had found a part of me that was beautiful. It was my inner beauty. It was the real me, the natural God centered, spiritual part of me. My inner light shone so bright that both men and women wanted to know why I glowed and asked was I in love. Yes, I was. I was in love, and I truly felt loved. It was my love of God and His unconditional love of me. That love gave me new confidence, it gave me a pep in my step, and it assured me that no matter where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and how I’ve come through it all, that I now had someone who was not going to change on me, now I had someone who would not leave me, and now I had someone who would in fact judge me, but not degrade me. And you know what? It showed. This 40 something women was again beautiful. Outward beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I am beautiful in His eyes. 1 Peter Chapter 3 verse 5 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight” So, I am not being conceited or over confident. Far from it. Physically, I am what some would consider overweight, I don’t have the proverbial “good hair” a term know in African-American circles, and while growing up light skin was in, I was not. Nevertheless, those who loved me saw what some did not. Something we cannot purchase, steal, borrow or barter. And that my friends is inner beauty. At 40 + this beauty radiates from me. I have suitors (I may have found the one my heart loves) but my first love is reserved for God.

As this woman that I am now, I know what I want and what I refuse to settle for. I know that love does not come when I want it. I know that love does not always last. I know that you cannot make someone love you if they do not. Moreover, because I no longer expect these things of others, I am secure in whom I am. I do not depend on someone else’s opinion of me, and frankly, I do not have the tolerance I once had. Yet, I love life and I welcome it with its surprises, hurts, disappointments, joys, and happiness. Do not misunderstand me, God is not through working on me yet. I stumble and fall. However, I do not wallow in it. I lean on Him. I ask for forgiveness, from God and from the person I offended, hurt, harmed or introduced negative energy into their spirit.

As I enter and exit the seasons of life, I am still finding and losing love. But the love of God that I have found could never be lost, and that…is real beauty.

He sings to you and dances over you as He quiets you with His love. Zephaniah Chapter 3, Verse 17.

I was reading my son’s school magazine, Springbrook, and as I perused through the pages, I glanced at the usual stories, who contributed the most money to the school, who graduated, who reached what milestone and then I turned page and I saw it…I saw love. Love without fear, love without judgment.
The young woman was in a beautiful bridal gown with a smile as wide as the ocean on her face. The young man was in a tuxedo, looking debonair, and holding on to his new wife, his bride, with pride and protection. What was so special about this lovely, newly married couple? Both were mentally challenged adults. Just to deviate for a moment, I need to also tell you that this young man was the breadwinner of this couple. He functioned slightly higher than his wife and chose to take care of her, support her, cherish her and be as the Bible commands, “the head”. Something some men today have yet to learn and practice. But, that’s another story.
Back to my story, here were two people who found unconditional love. Here were two people who had no time to judge, no time to measure, no time to consider did he/she make the made the right choice, or second guess themselves whether or not the other were truly the one. They had found what is written in the Song of Solomon 3:1-2, the one who their heart loves. To others they may look, act or sound different but to each other, they were the most beautiful people God had ever created. God does not make mistakes. Bishop Jakes once wrote, “God can appreciate our differences and still create unity. Together we produce a sound of harmony that expresses the multifaceted character of God.”
As I looked at that photo, I thought. Who am I to judge? Not just them, but anyone. The Lord Jesus told us in Matthew, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For what judgment you judge, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you”. As I pondered about this couple’s relationship, I thought not only about loving another person but, you got to love yourself. When we love ourselves, we will not settle for less than a righteous and fulfilling relationship(by relationship I mean, friends, family, spouses, our employers, co-workers, fellow church members or the heads of our church). When we love without judgment and without conditions, that is real love, Agape love, God’s love. That is when we are reflecting what Christ teaches us. What does He teach us? Well in summary 1)to always live to be pleasing to God.
2)that we must be peace makers to be called children of God.
3)to love our enemies and do good.
4)to pray.
5)to light the way for others.
6)share.
7)not to judge.
8)not to worry.
9)he taught us that God will take care of us.

I think that we could learn a lot from that young couple and just one of the things is that “He who does not love, does not know God, for God is love”. (John 4:7-8)